Define real?

Everyone talks about Facebook friends not being "real" friends. Well I greatly disagree. There are many types of friends. Old friends that you love dearly, who aren't apart of your life any more, Close friends who know your deepest darkest secrets, friends you meet through friends, who you immediately feel close with, friends who are there to just say "hi" as the scroll by. I love that I can connect with these friends that if it weren't for social media, most likely I would of never met if it weren't for Facebook. There are so many different people, in so many different walks of life all over the country and world, how awesome is it that we can instantly connected with them? I love being able to share the ups AND downs of my life with my friends and family that I wouldn't of been able to without Facebook. I love being able to see whats going on in each and everyone of your lives. I love watching your kids grow older as you grow wiser ( notice the word substitute for older ;-) ). To my real, true, much appreciated Facebook friends, thank you! Thank you for the laughs, insight into your family's lives as well as sharing your heartbreaks and burdens.

Mommy tantrum

Mommy just had a bit of a mommy tantrum. It's already been a long day of hustling to get the kids school work finished while taking care of the little ones in hopes to get out of the house to enjoy this "warm" 52 degree weather, before the temperature dips back into the teens. I fed the kids, put the baby to bed and got my 3 year old ready for nap. I get a phone call and go to answer it. In that 2.5 seconds that it took me to take that call, my 3 year old unrolls a roll of toilet paper ( 1000 sheet roll people.....) emptied all of the shampoo, toner, face wash onto the floor, dumped the empty bottles into the toilet ( second time in a week). My 9 year old walks into the bathroom and slips on the mess and starts crying, my 5 and 8 year old run in to see why she is crying and they both slip to the ground, my 4 year old wants to join the fun so she backs up, you know to get a running start,runs and jumps into the bathroom as if she were sliding into home plate or a Slip N Slide. My 3 year old is hiding because he knew he was caught. Half of the kids were crying and half squealing with delight. I'm trying to calmly and quietly handle the situation, clean the mess, kiss the boo boos and most importantly not to wake up the baby (God knows how I need her to nap). I shower everyone up, dry them, clothe them, deal with my 3 year old, put him to bed and then I hear it......the baby starts to cry, my effort to keep her asleep was just not good enough. Then that feeling creeps into my gut.....you mama's know that feeling, the one where you feel your face flush with heat, the one where you feel like you are a ticking time bomb and the time is up, that feeling where you have so many emotions where you don't know which one to act on, anger, frustration, exhaustion, unbelief, and then that strange emotion hits you where you feel like laughing and crying all at once. Well, the time bomb did go off, I closed myself into the bathroom, screamed, cried and laughed. I hopped in the bath and sat there throwing myself a big, beautiful pity party (it was nice while it lasted). I realized there was no quitting or striking in this job so I got dressed and exited the bathroom. I look at my kids in the eyes and what I see is them looking at me with pity (yeah, it was that bad). I found out that they folded the laundry for me, my son made me a magnesium drink we use called Calm and put a banana, apple and vanilla wafers on my bed to snack on. My 9 year old got my Lavender oil and gave me a good massage (she seriously is amazing). Of course my emotion of self pit turned into deep love. It reminded me how many blessings I have and those blessings come with chaos. Everything in life has its good and bad. If you want the reward, you have to work hard for it and this includes parenting. Time to put on my mom jeans, suck it up and take the chaos with the blessings, because in this job, they go hand in hand. 

One of those days.......

Today, was one of those days. Nothing can knock your confidence down a few pegs like being a stay at home mom. Some days you realize you are in the same pair of pajamas for a few days now ( not because you want to be), which contains spit up, milk, food, snot, pee and many other undesirable  things. You realize how bad your social skills are when you go out. You try to avoid all eye contact in fear that someone may actually try to talk to you.....do you know what this could mean? It could mean, a couple of melt downs, a child having to pee "really, really bad" which then means they ALL have to pee "really, really bad" as well, children who are not just hungry children but ones who are "starving" and a partridge in a pear tree. Some days your confidence drops so low, you just stare out the window into the outside world and wonder what people of other professions do all day, the outfits, conversations, sitting down to eat and actually eating the food you sat down to eat and uninterrupted potty breaks. It's hard not to lose yourself in the wonderful ( I promise, it's wonderful, although it sounds less than glamourous....but it has it's own glamour, in it's own way) life of a stay at home mom. Who am I? How did I ever get to caring so little about my appearance and how others saw me? Will I ever sleep again? Am I a good mom? Am I making the right choices? ( How can they possibly be hungry again???) When is the last time I had alone time with my husband? Normal every day things can be harder than winning an Olympic gold medal, you know? Like eating, peeing, showering, changing your clothes......No one said it was going to be easy ( and in all honesty, everyone writes about pregnancy and labor and it's difficulties, but that's the easy part of all this. You get drugs after you have a baby, no one gives you drugs for raising them.....I joke.....kind ok). Your value is great though! You took your entire self and gave it ALL to your children. You take every second or every day to build your children's character and self worth, even if it means yours plummets. You love these little mo

nsters more than life itself. Their benefit of your benefit. You are raising the future of our world. You are needed, you are great, you are your kids world and that's the only posse and "click" that you need. Keep your chin up ( because if you look down for a second I can almost guarantee someone is destroying something and getting into trouble). God designed you to be.......mom.